6 Ways to Experience Human Connection for Happiness and Fulfillment
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In the last few years, I have been experiencing several types of connections around me. First, I am meeting people from all walks of life in various areas of my life. Second, I am connecting with a different, less cerebral part of my inner self. And third, I am opening myself more frequently to my Guides (intuition, angels).
Craving connection is essential to the human condition. It brings passion, motivation, and love to everything we do. Without it we would wither and die. It is impossible for us as a species to survive without this deep sense of interdependence.
As leaders, we want to be connected to the mission and purpose of our team or company, to the people we lead, and to something bigger than ourselves.
As a COR.E® Leadership Dynamics Specialist, I learned that there are six types of connections. As you read each one, reflect on which categories are currently strong in your life and which may need more attention.
1) The state of flow
Flow is when we are deeply engaged in an activity, losing track of time. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, describes it as a sense of oneness with what you are doing.
I love the concept of flow. It connects us to the activity we are performing and to the present moment. I experience flow when I read, write, and coach. Discovering which activities lead me to flow has been a journey, and I have noticed these activities change over time.
I want more moments in flow, so I incorporate a few minutes of flow activities daily. For example, I write every morning for about ten minutes. On weekends, I spend longer periods in flow while writing my articles.
Anchoring these activities to another habit makes them easier to do. For example, every morning, I jot down the list of priorities for the day, and the first activity after that is writing. This way my brain is primed to writing as soon as the priorities list is ready.
“One of the most frequently mentioned dimensions of the flow experience is that, while it lasts, one is able to forget all the unpleasant aspects of life.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Hungarian-American psychologist
2) Connection to self
This connection involves being aware of our physical body, emotions, and thoughts. It helps us bring our authentic selves to all aspects of life and connect with others.
A few months ago, I attended an event on how to market your business to potential clients. A few minutes in, I felt uncomfortable, fidgeted, could not sit still, and wanted to leave.
I took a deep breath to refocus my brain on the topic at hand. After the meeting, I journaled for a few minutes on the reaction I had to the material presented. I realized that my body and thoughts were responding to a subject completely outside of my area of expertise.
I recognized that not knowing something makes me uncomfortable and my first reaction is to bury my head in the sand by disengaging. Realizing this is important because when it happens again, I will be able to shift faster to ‘student’ mode, come up with questions, and decide whether to pursue the topic further.
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist
3) Connection to people around us
This is an interesting one. On one hand, at the very essence of who we are (at the quantum and subatomic level), there is no separation between us and others. On the other hand, our ego has created an illusion for us to see something or someone outside of ourselves and believe that they are not part of us.
Understanding that the essence of being human is the same for everyone changes our perspective, decreases judgment, and increases acceptance. We all seek meaning, impact, love, and purpose.
Every person we meet is our teacher and student. I experience this daily with multiple interactions with family members, friends, colleagues, and even strangers.
People come into our lives for different reasons and seasons. If we think about it deeply, we will be able to identify what each individual taught us about life, ourselves, a specific situation, etc. Using our listening and empathy skills allows us to understand what is happening below the surface, creating deeper connections.
“Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.” Unknown
4) Connection to the environment
This involves connecting with nature and structures like buildings, houses, and art.
My connection to nature is not the strongest, but I am appreciating it more.
I started connecting more to my environment by creating a beautiful space at home where I feel welcomed, safe, and loved. To me this means an uncluttered and clean physical space, with colors and plants, pleasant smells, and lots of laughter.
“…and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?” Vincent Willem van Gogh, Dutch painter
5) Connection to life itself
This is one of my favorites because it involves how we choose to show up in life and aligns with my belief in an internal locus of control.
Making a conscious decision to live aligned with our purpose, with a growth mindset, and with the intention of sowing seeds to benefit others brings the inevitable side effect of happiness and joy.
Instead of comparing with or competing against others, we should focus on improving ourselves. Our purpose in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves.
I still fall into the comparison trap. For a long time, my motivation to improve myself was to be better than other people.
To move away from comparison, I now articulate my goals as clearly as possible and start with a minimum viable product or version. Instead of comparing myself to others, I learn from their experiences and apply it to improve my own work.
This is a journey, and I am not completely out of the comparison game yet. I remind myself that others have more experience in areas where I am just starting.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
6) Connection to our higher self
Many people, including me, believe in something greater than themselves, whether it is God, the Universe, or something else.
This connection involves knowing that the divine is within us. I am developing this connection through meditation and giving my intuition a louder voice.
I am learning to trust the process, my instincts, and to see that everything that comes into my life is or can be converted into a gift and opportunity.
“The Higher Self is whispering to you softly in the silence between your thoughts.” Deepak Chopra, Indian American author and alternative-medicine advocate, physician, and public speaker
One more thing before you go
Connection is essential to the human condition. It brings passion, motivation, and love to everything we do.
We have the power to create these connections instead of waiting for external factors.
Strong connections to our inner creator (through flow), ourselves, other people, life itself, the environment, and our higher self make life more vibrant and fulfilling. This is my definition of happiness.
What types of connections are the strongest for you and which ones need more attention? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.