Being Your Authentic Self: Embracing Who You Are in the Workplace
Everywhere we go, we constantly encounter the word ‘authenticity’ or the command “Be your authentic self!” This often leads me to panic and question, “Am I being authentic right this minute or is my alter ego taking over? Is it always appropriate to be authentic? What if I can’t wear yellow at a black tie?“
In the book You Are a Badass at Creating Habits, by Jen Sincero, she describes being authentic as loving who you love, pursuing the stuff you’re interested in, laughing at what you find funny, and fighting for what you think is right. Being authentic also means giving yourself permission to change your mind, to make mistakes, to beg forgiveness, to be sad, lonely, and lazy. True authenticity means embracing your whole self.
Upon reading her definition, my panic subsided, and I told myself “You’re okay; you’re not pretending to like something just to fit in. Yellow shoes are acceptable at a black-tie event.“
Adopting any persona other than your true self and playing a role for eight or more hours a day must be utterly exhausting. I guess that may be one of the reasons why actors get paid so much…
Human beings possess greater perceptiveness than we often acknowledge, and we can ‘sense’ when someone is being inauthentic.
One of the most common challenges I see among leaders is the struggle to present their authentic selves in the workplace, particularly for those who belong to underrepresented groups and/or have faced more obstacles than the average.
Many individuals feel the need to wear a mask or put on a façade to conform or appear successful.
Why authenticity is crucial in the workplace
Authenticity, a buzzword that has gained prominence in recent years, refers to staying true to oneself while embodying sincerity, transparency, and vulnerability.
In the workplace, authenticity is crucial as it nurtures trust, fosters relationships, and cultivates an atmosphere of openness and collaboration.
When leaders are authentic, they lead with empathy and compassion, rather than fear and control. This creates a safe space where employees feel comfortable sharing their ideas, feedback, and concerns, which ultimately leads to improved performance, productivity, and job satisfaction.
Conversely, a lack of authenticity in leadership fosters a toxic and stressful work environment. Employees can sense when their leaders are not being truthful or genuine, often resulting in diminished trust and disengagement. This can have a ripple effect on the rest of the team, resulting in low morale, high turnover, and eventually, poor business results.
Why it is hard to be authentic in the workplace
Although authenticity offers numerous benefits, many individuals continue to encounter challenges when attempting to express their true selves in the workplace.
To start, our brains are programmed to value conformity and fitting in. That is how we stayed protected in our tribe and increased our chances of survival and propagating our genes.
We are conditioned to believe that success looks a certain way and that if we do not fit that mold, we feel like failures. As a result, individuals may find it challenging to embrace their distinctive strengths, values, and perspectives.
Second, it can be scary to be vulnerable. When we present our authentic selves, we are revealing our true selves, flaws and all, making us feel exposed, which can be uncomfortable. Consequently, many individuals resort to wearing a façade as a defense mechanism against potential criticism or rejection.
Third, there is a perception that leaders need to be strong, decisive, and in control at all times. Leaders are often afraid to show vulnerability for fear of being perceived as weak or incompetent when nothing is farther from the truth.
Lastly, rigid boundaries often arise as a means of evading confrontation or the necessity of articulating our needs and emotions.
Over the past few years, I have been on a journey of adjusting and readjusting my boundaries to make them less rigid so I can enjoy a richer human experience. This allowed me to see the awesomeness each person has, I feel less alone because I know there are other people who are also trying their best, and I connect at a deeper level with others.
Strategies for presenting your authentic self
So how can we present our authentic self in the workplace and rip the benefits of being an authentic leader?
1. Know yourself
Knowing yourself means understanding your values, strengths, and weaknesses. When you have a clear understanding of who you are, you can embrace your unique perspectives and bring your whole self to work. This requires self-reflection, which can be done through activities like journaling, meditation, or self-assessment tools.
2. Be mindful of your behaviors
Once you have a clear understanding of who you are, it is important to be mindful of your behaviors in the workplace. Are you acting in a way that is true to yourself, or are you putting on a façade? Pay attention to your body language, tone of voice, and how you interact with others. If you find yourself presenting a false front, take a step back and ask yourself why. Are you trying to fit in or appease others? Acknowledge these emotions and work to overcome them.
3. Embrace vulnerability
Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It takes courage to open ourselves up to others. When we embrace it, we create a safe space for people to do the same leading to deeper connections and more meaningful relationships. This can be as simple as sharing your thoughts or experiences with your team, or actively seeking feedback and suggestions from others.
4. Practice active listening
Effective communication is a key part of presenting your authentic self. Active listening is a skill essential for building trust and understanding. When you actively listen to others, you demonstrate that you value their input and perspective, which creates an environment of trust and encourages others to share their thoughts and ideas. To practice active listening, focus on the speaker, ask open-ended questions, and summarize what you have heard to ensure understanding.
5. Seek support
Presenting your authentic self can be challenging, especially if you are not part of the majority, are experiencing severe impostor syndrome, or find yourself in a place where authenticity is not valued. Having a support system can help you navigate the challenges and setbacks that come with presenting your authentic self. Encouragement from others who understand and/or are on a similar journey can come in the form of a mentor, coach, or peer group (such as employee resource networks).
One more thing before you go
Being authentic means accepting and trusting your entire self. It involves showing up as the same ‘you’ across all facets of life while also aligning with qualities like empathy, curiosity, non-judgment, love, and respect for your fellow humans.
It is possible to be authentic and professional. Even though I work in a traditional sector I find ways to bring humor and levity to many of my interactions. I wear colorful clothes even when many people around me favor neutral colors. I proudly embrace my natural curls and even create words when the right one escapes me. If I am not feeling like myself, I express it kindly, avoiding details unless I choose to share.
Allowing myself to be more aligned across all areas of my life has been liberating and much more fun than putting up a fa̤ade just to fit in, which is what I did for many years Рhow on Earth did I endure that?!
Maintaining our integrity by being authentic both at work and in our personal lives brings a sense of liberation and joy. Alignment grants us more frequent access to ease and flow because there is one less internal conflict to solve.
How do you show your authentic self at work? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.