Consider Emotions When Problem Solving
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Scene 1 – It is Monday morning. Your boss asks you to lead a project to figure out how to make a specific process faster and simpler.
Scene 2 – You and your soon-to-be ex-partner are sitting down across from each other figuring out how to divide property and make custody arrangements.
These are two problems to be solved. Which one has emotional components? The second one seems to be the obvious answer considering that there are feelings involved between partners and other members of a family undergoing a reorg.
Both problems have emotional components. The moment there are people participating, automatically there are emotions in the mix.
Until recently, I thought of problem-solving skills as the ability to uncover the true problem (i.e., root cause) and think of potential viable solutions to address both the symptoms and the illness. I thought of myself as a great problem-solver, I listed those abilities on my resume, they were part of my selling points, and I enjoyed (and still do) looking for solutions to make life easier for myself and others.
As part of my training to become an EQ-i/EQ360 assessment administrator, I took the evaluation and to my surprise I got a low score in problem solving. I was dumbfounded.
So, what was different in the assessment? Why did I get that score? It turns out that there is an emotional component to problem solving that I am working on and have not yet mastered. No wonder the score was lower than expected!
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” Unknown
In the book The EQ Edge, Doctors Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book define problem solving from the EQ perspective as the ability to find solutions to problems in situations where emotions are involved, and to understand how emotions impact decision making.
If you can answer ‘never’ or ‘almost never’ to these questions, then you have high EQ problem-solving skills:
- When I’m really upset, I can’t decide what to do.
- I tend to worry about a problem rather than try to solve it.
- I avoid dealing with problems.
- It’s hard for me to decide on the best solution when solving a problem.
- I get stuck when thinking about different ways of solving problems.
- I feel overwhelmed when I need to make a decision.
- If I have trouble solving a problem, I get frustrated and give up.
- I let my emotions get in the way when making decisions.
“One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know how at the moment . . . If it doesn’t turn out right, we can modify it as we go along.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
Here is an approach following three rules of problem solving proposed by Marvin Levine in his book Effective Problem Solving.
We first start with externalization. This is what I call ‘to download everything on paper (or e-paper)’. We write down or make a visual representation of all the information we know at the time.
Let us say that we want to get another job. We will start by putting down on paper what type of role we prefer, location, companies under consideration, scope of responsibility, level of interaction with internal or external customers, etc.
The next step is visualization where we imagine ourselves going through the different steps we would take to address the problem and/or envisioning the outcome of a possible solution. When done in detail and with no distractions, it is extremely helpful in providing more depth to the situation. Do this process as vividly as possible and assess your feelings and emotions. What is your gut telling you?
Continuing with the example of getting another job, we may visualize what it would be like to have a role where we have constant interaction with external customers, or none at all. We could imagine what it would be like to have a position where we have a steep learning curve, or in which we are the subject matter expert.
The third step is simplification where we break down the problem into its most elementary parts. This is extremely useful to put together an action plan that is not overwhelming and that we can tackle following consistent steps and tasks.
In our example of searching for a new job, our list of tasks would include reaching out to our relevant network, researching the companies we are interested in, updating our resume, etc.
“Whatever failures I have known, whatever errors I have committed, whatever follies I have witnessed in public and private life, have been the consequences of action without thought.” Bernard Baruch
A life without problems does not exist and, if it did, it would be a very boring one. The key is to manage our own emotions and that of others so we can effectively tackle the real root cause of the problem, choose the optimal solution with the information we have at the time, and try again if the results were not what we expected.
The good news is that we cannot make any mistakes because we decide with the information and knowledge we have at the time. It is only during assessment that we will compare the chosen solution with our initial expectations. Even then, what we learn trumps the ‘failure’ so, we win regardless of the result.
How do you handle emotions during problem solving? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to help women transition from mid to senior level leadership positions by creating awareness, increasing emotional intelligence, and unveiling the tools and choices available to them, so they can confidently realize and fulfill their potential.