Having Challenging Performance Conversations: A Guide for Leaders
Leading a team at an organization is a great privilege and honor, and it comes with certain responsibilities such as having performance conversations with people who are not meeting expectations.
Many of us strive for self-improvement, have high internal motivation and locus of control, and by now, we have developed a skin thick enough to receive candid feedback. Unfortunately, not all members of our team may be as receptive (or ready for) to candid communication as we are.
I will share my approach so you can incorporate it into your toolbox “as is” or adapt it to your style and personality.
1) Be specific
This is so basic that I hesitated if I should include it here. And yet, I still hear so many general comments when doing performance reviews that it is necessary to remind everyone about it.
Have specific examples of what people are doing well and the areas where they need to improve.
If someone did a fantastic job delivering a presentation, most people would say “good job!” and leave at that. The recipient feels great with the compliment, but she would not know what aspects of her delivery she should keep for her next presentation. The experience would be quite different if the feedback were something like “good job delivering the presentation! I think repeating the key points at the beginning, in the middle and in the final summary was effective and helped people connect the dots.”
Similarly, if we tell someone “I did not like how the presentation deck came out” we are not letting the person know what exactly was wrong with the document. Instead, we could say “the presentation deck did not have consistent font type and size and the colors were misaligned with the branding.” In the second example, the feedback provides clear direction for improvement.
2) Collect 360 feedback
Some companies have an official feedback collection process involving a range of colleagues. Regardless of the existence or not of such a process, gathering feedback from others makes the performance conversations extremely rich.
What I do is ask my direct report for a list of up to 20 individuals for 360-degree feedback. I then review the list to ensure it is well-rounded and proceed to solicit feedback from the listed colleagues.
This is important because we do not have full visibility into how each person on our team is performing, as it should be in an empowered team.
I do not share the feedback I receive from others with my direct reports. My preference is that people give candid feedback and I want to discover trends not to solve grievances. I incorporate these comments with my own, and I am always amazed at the nuggets I discover.
3) Ask for their assessment
Over the past few years, I have consistently initiated my performance review discussions by asking the other person to share their perspective on the year. I ask open ended questions such as “What are you most proud of this year?” “Which aspects of the year went particularly well for you?” “Where do you think you fell short?” “What areas of improvement have you identified?”
I do this for two reasons:
a) It gives me a sense of any gaps between their assessment and mine, which we clarify during the conversation.
b) It tells me their level of self-awareness and how they think and approach their career.
4) Start with the areas of improvement
We are all familiar with the ‘sandwich method’ for delivering feedback. The two bread slices are positive feedback, and the middle is what the person needs to improve on.
I do not use this approach because I think it dilutes the discussion about areas of improvement and development.
Instead, I start with an outline of the conversation that looks like
- Ask for their assessment
- Discuss areas of improvement and development
- Share positive feedback
Talking about the areas of improvement first allows both of us to give it the attention it requires, especially if the person is not meeting expectations in certain areas.
Ending the conversation spotlighting the person’s contributions, their growth journey, and why we enjoy working with them allows us to finish on a strong and uplifting note.
When the positive feedback is done before the areas of improvement, it feels as if it did not matter. You did this very well, but here are some things where you missed the mark. Not a great feeling, right?
The only time when I would advocate for having what needs improvement at the end of the conversation is if we want to send a strong message when someone is underperforming. This may be the third (or fourth) conversation we are having with minimal progress.
5) Establish accountability appropriately
Our role as the head of the team is to ensure everyone knows their objectives and understands their individual responsibilities.
Each team member is responsible for not only fulfilling these expectations but also devising strategies to attain their goals. Equally important is to raise our hand when something is too challenging.
When people are not meeting expectations, I ask them for input on the actions they will take for course correction. It must be their plan. We review it and discuss it to confirm that the actions, if executed, will bring them to required performance levels.
Furthermore, I observe the frequency with which individuals proactively provide updates on their progress during our one-on-one meetings. This speaks volumes about the person’s willingness and determination to improve.
One more thing before you go
Challenging is in the eye of the beholder. What may be difficult for me, could be quite easy for you, and vice versa. It is the same with conversations. Many people feel uncomfortable discussing anything other than “positive” feedback. The good news is that you can learn how to communicate a clear and actionable message when addressing underperformance with kindness, respect, and authenticity.
Clear is kind. Few feelings are as unsettling as realizing our boss’s expectations differ from ours. I advocate for making people’s lives easier by letting them know what is working, what could be better, and what requires substantial improvement, including potential repercussions in the absence of changes. This approach empowers individuals to make informed decisions.
It is common to overestimate the duration of uncomfortable situations. That is why we procrastinate going to the dentist until the pain is unbearable. The truth is, discomfort rarely lasts as long as we imagine, and the benefits afterwards are immense. The same principle applies to “challenging” performance conversations.
Consider this: dedicating an hour to providing feedback to someone falling short of expectations could yield roughly 2,000 hours (the annual working hours count) of consistent performance. Even if the process extends to a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), which may take 2-4 hours per month, the returns outweigh the investment.
We do not want to lose our best talent because we are too busy “fixing” those who either lack willingness or capability to improve. Often, there is a misalignment between a role’s requirements and an individual’s strengths.
And, hey, we all have difficult years. The measure is getting up, dusting ourselves off, and trying again armed with newly gained knowledge from experience.
Conducting effective performance conversations is both art and science. Our approach must strike a balance between compassion, empathy, and the well-being of both the team and the organization.
How do you like to receive performance feedback? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.