How to Set Goals: The 5-Step Method I Use
In my last two publications, I talked about the DBA process (desire/belief/accept) and the Triple A framework of Aspiration, Ambition, and Action.
In this article, I will describe a goal setting methodology I have been using for the last four years, which I learned from the book Your Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt. You will find how all three are beautifully connected.
In case you didn’t know, people with written goals are thirty times more successful. Just by noting down your goals, you will become part of an exclusive club – only 3% of people write their goals.
I invite you to play with this framework with other members of your family. My mom instituted the goal setting process in ours when I was ten years old, and my brother was seven. I guess her criteria was literacy. Use your creativity to make it fun and to channel each person’s unique personality and talents.
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Les Brown, former Ohio state representative
Step 1 – Believe the Possibility
We all grew up with certain knowledge we took as gospel. Some of those helped us be successful, and others may have supported us when we were kids or teenagers, but they no longer serve us as adults.
Some examples are
- Work hard and let it speak for itself.
- Boys are better than girls at Math and girls are better at Reading – fellow engineers and readers (of all genders), I feel your pain every time I hear this one!
- If I change careers, I will make less money than what I earn now.
- Success comes before work only in the dictionary – I choose to keep this belief.
It is important to identify which beliefs limit our progress and growth and which ones still serve us. How do we know which ones are limiting?
Usually, there are four indicators that tell us we are trapped in a limiting belief.
a) black and white thinking – it is impossible to get a raise in this economy.
b) personalizing – I am the only woman in the group; I will never be promoted before ‘the boys’.
c) catastrophizing – if I lose this job, I will never get another one, and I will be ruined.
d) universalizing – everybody is looking out for themselves.
Once we identify our beliefs, we want to reframe them from limiting to abundant. You can see some examples in my last article.
When I first learned of this method, I found it strange that this was the first step instead of writing the goals.
Then it dawned on me that by reframing our limiting beliefs into abundant ones, we are preparing our minds to define goals that are expansive and aligned with our aspiration (who we want to become).
Step 2 – Complete the Past
Here is where we review the previous year. We want to include what we achieved, what we were most proud of, themes, and lessons learned.
An important aspect, and a revelation for me when I first used this framework, is to articulate our regrets.
In his book An Earned Life, Marshall Goldsmith defines regret as the emotion we experience when we think that our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the past.
The beauty of including them as part of the review is that we can see the things that are truly important to us (otherwise we would not have regretted them) and course correct for the new year.
We also want to observe what we didn’t complete. Sometimes we learn more from what we don’t do than from what we do.
A third aspect in this step is gratitude. It is a fantastic way to appreciate the entirety of the year that has just passed – proud moments, regrets, and lessons learned. All of them provided information to us that we can now use for our next set of goals.
We continue to prime our minds to think about awesome, amazing, expansive goals.
Step 3 – Design your Future
This is the step we have been preparing for. Here is where we write down, draw, or represent our bold, awesome, expansive, amazing goals.
Applying this method, I learned a new acronym for goals.
We are all familiar with SMART goals – specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound.
The new acronym is SMARTER where the new R stands for risky and the E for exciting. Isn’t this amazing?!
A few things to keep in mind:
- Goals are different from a long ‘to do’ list for the year.
- We want to set a maximum of ten goals.
- If this is your very first time setting any kind of goals outside of work, start small – say, with five goals.
As much as possible, balance your goals across several aspects of your life – career, finances, relationships, spiritual life, entertainment (e.g., travel, hobbies,), etc.
Have a combination of achievement and habit goals.
Achievement goals are those where there is a specific result at the end – for example, running a half marathon, increasing sales by 20%, moving into a new apartment, etc.
Habit goals are those where we want to establish a new habit or behavior – e.g., write at least 500 words every day, exercise 3 times/week for 30 minutes, etc.
I invite you to set goals outside of your comfort zone. I usually pick one or two of my goals and set a bold version.
For example, I had a goal of increasing my net worth by at least 15%. This was doable although not certain. The bold version was to increase it by 40%. That one made my stomach react with ‘OK, I’m not comfortable, I don’t know if I can do it… too high!’
Kids are the best at setting goals outside of their comfort zone. For many of them, life has not beaten them enough, so they have not limited themselves too much yet. In the same way we encourage them to become astronauts, world explorers, or creators, motivate yourself to dream a little bigger.
Step 4 – Find your Why
Why do we want what we want? Some of us have a clear answer to this question, some of us not so much. I am in the second group.
Many times, my answer is ‘it seems interesting’. Or ‘I am curious and excited to try something new’.
Sometimes the why is something pressing. In 2018 my why to create healthy eating habits was ‘my last blood test results were not as I expected so let’s do something now before I end up with a bigger issue.’
The most important element is to confirm that the goal is my desire and not other people’s or society’s expectations.
Why is each goal important to me personally? How is this goal aligned with my aspiration of becoming X?
Having that clear link between goal and aspiration will increase our motivation to later on create the plan to actually execute those goals.
Equally important, it will help us build our team. For the purposes of our personal goals, the team includes our tribe (how we need them to support our goals and vice versa), communities (in person or online), coaches/mentors/sponsors, study groups, etc.
For example, if your goal is to run your first marathon, part of your team would be a running group that trains for marathons.
Step 5 – Make It Happen
Here you will outline the execution plan to achieve these amazing goals you have defined and that are aligned with your aspiration.
This step may take longer, and you may want to have separate sessions to hash the plan out. Each goal may need a unique approach. You can outline actions that would tackle multiple objectives.
Last year, I wrote an article with a method designed for goal execution, which fits very well with this framework.
“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” Bill Copeland, American poet
One more thing before you go
Setting goals (i.e., transferring them from thoughts in your head or a ‘to do’ list to actual goals on paper, cardboard, or software) is a game changer. For those of you with young ones in your tribe, this is one of the most beautiful legacies you can leave them.
Even if you do this once in the year and do not look at the document until the following year, you will be ahead of the game.
Believe in the expansive, abundant possibilities, complete the past, design your future, find and connect your goals to your why, and make them happen.
Picture yourself on January 1st. You are by yourself in a rare moment of tranquility. You are sipping a beverage of your choice. There is a smile on your face as you think about the year that just ended. What is making you smile? Is it the progress you have made in your career? Finally having a decent emergency fund? Your first trip to a ski resort?
Write (or draw or collate) those achievements down! Make them specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound, exciting, and risky (SMARTER). You deserve your goals and dreams. It is not a matter of ‘if’ but of ‘when’.
“The great danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
What is one of your bold goals? Please, let us know in the comments.
Source: Book Your Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.