The Beauty of Asking Questions: Unlocking Curiosity and Promoting Understanding
If you prefer audiovisual content, you can watch the video and subscribe to my channel.
Have you spent any amount of time recently with a four- or five-year-old kid? I have. A few months ago, during a visit to a friend’s house, I found myself engaged in conversation with her four-year-old son. In the span of about three hours, he must have posed at least fifteen questions – from why cows poop to how trains operate. His brain was thirsty for information and knowledge.
As we grow up, we stop asking questions. Initially, it may be due to exasperating our parents or caregivers, who eventually lose patience and urge us to seek answers independently – it takes a lot of endurance to answer questions patiently for hours every day. Later, it may be because we think we know everything, or we think we should know everything, so we are embarrassed to ask.
Recently, while reading John C. Maxwell’s book The Leader’s Greatest Return, I was reminded of the beauty and importance of asking questions.
What is a question and what do they do?
A question is “a sentence, phrase, or gesture that seeks information through a reply.”
I would add that a question is more than just a quest for information; it is an invitation for people to share their thoughts, perspectives, and feelings. It serves as confirmation that we genuinely desire to understand their response.
Moreover, a question has the power to broaden our horizons by prompting us to consider new possibilities. It stimulates novel connections between ideas and sets our mental gears in motion.
In his book The Leader’s Greatest Return by John C. Maxwell, the author proposes that asking questions is usually more effective than giving direction when developing other leaders. This is because questions:
- Foster open conversation
- Place value on others and their opinions
- Help people know one another better
- Invite everyone to participate
- Clarify assumptions
- Stimulate critical thinking
- Guide the conversation
Questions to ponder
It is impossible to create an exhaustive list of questions for every situation. Instead, I begin by considering what information I need about the person, project, or situation at hand. I also use ChatGPT and other resources for additional inspiration on what questions to ask.
Here are some examples to spark your creativity.
For projects or tasks
- How do you envision approaching this project or task?
- What obstacles do you foresee and how do you plan to overcome them?
- How can my team or I provide the highest value to this project/task?
For new working relationships (some of these can be adapted to personal relationships as well)
- What are the two or three things I should always do or never do for us to have a productive relationship?
- What do you find most and least satisfying about your job?
- What do you love about the company and what changes would you like to see?
When creating personal goals
- What do I really want (as if money and people were no obstacles)?
- How would achieving this goal make me feel?
- What steps can I take to move closer to this goal?
- What obstacles might I encounter, and how can I overcome them?
Initiating the thinking process with a question, especially an open-ended one, stimulates a different mental experience compared to starting with a statement. It compels our brains to venture beyond their comfort zones, encouraging us to explore and consider various scenarios.
One more thing before you go
Questions create an invitation for people to share their thoughts and feelings fostering a sense of being heard and included.
By asking questions, we demonstrate genuine interest in others’ perspectives, thereby making them feel valued. Through attentive listening to their responses, we become fully present with them, offering them the invaluable gift of our undivided attention.
Before giving direction to someone else, pause and ponder whether approaching the conversation with questions (instead of a set of instructions) would be more beneficial for all involved.
Questions unlock our creativity and imagination. When we engage in dialogue with others or consume their content, we broaden our horizons, exploring new possibilities and perspectives. Think about everything you learned in the last twelve months. Most likely it all started with a question.
What is on your list of questions? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.