The Power of Being Present: Tips to Reduce Stress and Anxiety
How long would you say you are in the present moment in the course of twenty-four hours? Ten minutes? One hour? Never?
If your day is anything like mine, you are lucky you are in the present moment the ten minutes of your meditation time… if that!
Our minds are usually in a state of constant movement. We ruminate about something that happened the day before for ten minutes when we realize we missed the question directed to us in the meeting. Or we are so anxious about a presentation the following week that we forget to buy groceries.
The only thing we can do with the past is learn from it. The one thing we can do about the future is prepare as best as we can. Both learning and preparing happen in the present.
Once we internalize this concept of being in the present, our stress and anxiety significantly decrease. Why? Because we stop wanting to be in control and we trust the process knowing that each event will unfold in perfect harmony for each of us.
How can we be in the present moment more often and longer?
1) Choose how you are going to experience life
As time goes by, I realize that the bare minimum of leading an adult life is self-talk and managing thoughts.
We always have a choice on how we show up every day. Am I showing up angry yelling to everyone first thing in the morning because I am about to be late?
Or do I stop resisting and, like the reed, bend and flex so I do not break?
Before high-stress (for me) events, I set an intention. Am I at this meeting to listen and learn? Am I here to share my experience? To give direction? If I put my label for this person (he is lazy, she is all over the place, etc.) aside for the next fifteen minutes of conversation, what would happen?
2) Notice your thoughts
When you are performing a specific task, what are your thoughts? Are they mostly in the past, the future, or a combination? Are you ruminating about something that took place last month or are you anxious about something that will happen on Monday?
One trick I use to bring the thoughts back to the present is to describe the action. For example, if I am doing the dishes and my mind starts to wander, I will tell myself ‘I’m putting soap on the sponge’ or ‘I’m rinsing the yellow dish.’
3) Notice your emotions and physical sensations
This one could be challenging especially with stress-based emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, etc., or with physical sensations that are unpleasant.
What I have noticed is that when there is no resistance the emotion and/or sensation goes away faster. So, it is a matter of riding the wave for a brief period of time.
For example, I started to experience hot flashes. They are not frequent, but they are bothersome. They come unexpectedly and I now know that they are temporary.
When I resist and start violently fanning myself, the hot flash seems to last forever and increase in intensity. I do not have any scientific proof, but my theory is that by increasing my stress my body temperature rises feeding the hot flash.
But, if I take deep breaths and focus on the sensations I am feeling in my body, the hot flash goes away as fast as it appeared.
The way I think about it is why fight something that will come no matter what and that is temporary?
4) Identify who helps you be in the present
Undoubtedly kids help us be in the present. I am sure pets do as well but since my experience there is more limited, I will keep my perspective focused on humans.
Babies require our undivided attention for caring and survival. Even their cuteness is nature’s way of hooking us up, so we do not harm or neglect them.
Kids tend to be present in their activities. Even when they create imaginary worlds, they are in the present moment living in their invented universe.
For adults, one of the major sources of distraction is our phone. When I meet other people, I keep mine inside my purse and only take it out if I need something specific like the flashlight or to write down a quick note or reminder related to the conversation.
Allow yourself to be present in whatever game the kids in your life invite you to play. Next time you meet someone for coffee, lunch, or any other activity, put your phone away and be present for them.
One more thing before you go
Creating awareness is within your control. It is a matter of paying attention to what is going on in your mind, body, and surroundings.
Every time you notice what you are doing or thinking you bring yourself back to the present. It does not matter if it is for a few seconds. That is better than nothing. Like everything else, with time and practice you will be in the present longer.
I invite you to make being present a daily goal. You can commit to three deep breaths first thing when you wake up. Or right before putting the toothbrush in your mouth.
In time, you will notice that you are more grounded, you get less upset or stressed especially about the everyday annoyances in life, and your relationships across the board will significantly improve.
It is a win-win. Low investment and effort and huge returns.
What techniques do you use to bring yourself back to the present? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.