The Pursuit of Meaning
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As you know by now, one of my favorite activities is the end- to-end process of goal setting, planning, and execution. I have been doing it since I was ten years old. When I started, the process was quite simple and I am sure that I was, like most kids that age, resistant and annoyed at this newly ‘imposed’ exercise. I am grateful to my parents for sticking with it even when my brother and I did not want to do it and/or made fun of them.
During the Christmas holidays, I did an informal exercise with the older kids in the family. I first asked them about their plans for 2022. Invariably, I got ‘I don’t know’ with the accompanying shoulder shrug – I was lucky I did not get the additional eye rolling.
I continued probing them with what they wanted at the end of the school year, what they wanted to learn or improve on, and what was one of their dreams. The last question was my favorite. I got being a solo singer, going to space, and playing professional baseball.
At the end of that brief conversation (I am sure it did not feel short to them), I noticed a slight change in their demeanor. ‘Magically’ these kids realized that they did indeed have goals, dreams… the pursuit of meaning had officially begun.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of people.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Goal setting and achievement is a skill, we can learn it and enhance it over time. It is intricately linked to the skill of self-actualization, the ability to realize our potential capacities, the pursuit of meaning.
In the book The EQ Edge, Doctors Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book define self-actualization as an ongoing, dynamic process of striving toward the maximum development of your abilities and talents, of persistently trying to do your best and to improve yourself in general.
If you can answer ‘always’ or ‘almost always’ to these questions, then you have high self-actualization:
- I accomplish my goals.
- I feel I have something to contribute.
- I seek out enriching experiences.
- I am self-motivated.
- I make good use of my abilities.
- I strive to be the best I can be.
- I am driven to achieve.
- I try to make my life as meaningful as I can.
- I look for ways to improve myself.
Self-actualization focuses on the process or proficiency, the journey, and not so much on the results or the destination. It also involves being satisfied with where we are in life knowing that we can continue to improve.
“Whereas the average individuals often have not the slightest idea of what they are, of what they want, of what their own opinions are, self-actualizing individuals have superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.” Abraham Maslow
The idea is to have a healthy balance across all aspects of our life. This works well when our day-to-day main activities and goals are aligned with our purpose or life mission.
When we combine self-actualization with self-awareness we can use our short-term feelings to help us identify something larger in our life. Unfortunately, many of us have allowed our internal light to be covered by others’ expectations disguised as our own.
My client Sheila, an amazing music teacher, discovered that her true dream was to record a solo album with her own musical composition. Life responsibilities and her family’s expectation of her discouraged Sheila to shine her light. We worked together to set a plan for her to pursue her purpose while taking care of herself financially. Sheila rerouted her daily activities to her pursuit of meaning.
We do not need to leave behind everything we know to haphazardly pursue our life mission. On the contrary, mastering the skill of self-actualization will allow us to set short and long-term goals focused on acquiring or enhancing skills, experimenting, and incorporating results into the next iteration.
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Arthur Ashe, American professional tennis player.
Leaders with high self-actualization feel as though they are exactly where they need to be. It is a delicate balance between achieving and trusting the process.
Many times throughout the years, I have thought of stopping and not setting goals anymore, and I never could. There was something stronger inside me that pushed me to sit down and think about what I wanted to accomplish and how I would go about it.
Self-actualization is to get into whatever we are pursuing regardless of the end result or potential reward. In addition, we want to strike a balance across all areas of our life and between doing and being.
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say, ‘Why not?'” George Bernard Shaw
When we pursue goals that are bold, risky and exciting we tend to be happier and more successful (i.e. we know our purpose, we grow to reach our maximum potential, and we sow seeds to benefit others).
The pursuit of meaning does not decrease as we age. So, setting goals is a lifelong activity. I personally find it more interesting as time goes by.
I invite you to declare 2022 as the year in which you write down your goals and/or create a vision board. This is the year you will re-discover your inner light. 2022 is the year in which you allow that inner light to shine bright and to set your own expectations of yourself. This is the year in which you will resume your pursuit of meaning.
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
It is January 1st, 2023. You are sitting on your favorite spot enjoying the beverage of your choice. You think about the year 2022. What have you done, become, or gotten? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to help underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions by creating awareness, increasing emotional intelligence, and unveiling the tools and choices available to them.