To Be The Exception, Follow Strong Guiding Principles
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The last couple of weeks I have been reflecting on what exactly guides me as I make decisions, create habits, and set goals. Enter guiding principles, a concept I have come across frequently in the last few days.
Guiding principles are precepts that guide an organization throughout its life in all circumstances, irrespective of changes in its goals, strategy, type of work, or top management. They are a set of values that establishes a framework for expected behavior and decision-making.
“He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.” Aesop
Here are my guiding principles; these have remained constant at least all my adult life. The few times I have tried to deviate from any of them, things did not work out.
1) Become first what you want
When I wanted a promotion at work, the first advice I got was to start acting and thinking as if I had already that title (i.e., to become that new title). This was the polite way to encourage me to step up my game.
I started with allowing people to help me. Instinctively, I knew that to achieve greater things I needed to leverage the talent around me. I was extremely uncomfortable at first. Doing things by myself, being self-sufficient (which is a complete myth by the way) made me proud.
The first time I created the vision, mission, strategy for my team, I let a colleague guide me through the process and even put together a template I could follow.
When I presented my boss with a solid draft, I immediately knew she was impressed. She was not expecting this approach and thought leadership from someone at my level. The seed was planted.
“Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the kind of person who can.” Anonymous
2) Do what is easy
In many of my past roles, I presented to senior management at least monthly on the topics my team and I covered. I was very familiar with the information and knew who was on point for each item.
Before every presentation, I rehearsed what I would say. Even how I would facilitate the meeting. I did it every time. Even when I knew the material in my sleep. Even when it was the eleventh meeting of the year.
The preparation is the easy thing that needs to be done. It is tedious and our brain tells us ‘Why bother? You already know the material; you have been doing it every month. Let’s check email!’
The hard thing would be not having an answer to a question I could have researched before the meeting. Or losing my credibility because I did not appear to be on top of my game.
“What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” Jim Rohn
3) Do not do less than your best
This specific principle was instilled by my parents early on in my life. They did not accept minimalism (aka minimum effort). The result is not the most important thing. Sometimes we get what we want, sometimes we get something different.
Most people do the minimum to get by, to keep their jobs, to pass the test, to pay the rent. With the advancement of technology and fierce competition, the bar is getting higher and higher.
I am not suggesting perfection, which comes from a place of scarcity and insecurity. Far from it. But we all know when we do not give it our all.
My client Amanda wanted to expand her role at her company. She could have gone to her boss to ask for a promotion or for more responsibilities. Instead, we worked together so Amanda could come to the table with specific ideas on projects her team could take on.
Amanda could have taken the ‘easy’, ‘law of the minimum effort’ route and ask for a bigger scope of work, giving her manager homework. But she did her best to come with a solid starting point for the conversation. At the end, her role was expanded with a mix of projects she proposed and other activities her manager provided.
“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” Og Mandino
4) Pay it forward
This principle carried me through the difficult transition from individual contributor, to managing individuals, to managing teams. And finally, to influencing others even when I did not have direct hierarchical position.
I have received so much help and support throughout my career that it would take me days and days to write it all down. And because of it I feel a strong need to pay it forward.
We inevitably learn when teaching others. When I was in high school and college I never studied for Physics, Math, or Chemistry exams. Why? Because I tutored my friends on those subjects. And while I was doing so, I reinforced my knowledge.
“When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” Maya Angelou
5) Change yourself first
If you want things to be different, you must start with yourself. You will not be fulfilled once you get the new job. You will not be happier once you find the love of your life or when you lose the last fifteen pounds. Change comes from within.
We tend to look outwards when we want change. Remember that we attract what we are. If only my boss were more pleasant, my partner more considerate, or I lived in a nicer place.
It is powerful and freeing to take the reins of our own destiny. This includes our actions and perspectives.
My close friend William was going through a rough patch with his significant other. They were bickering all the time for what seemed to be small disagreements. They went to couple’s therapy and after one of the sessions, William was inspired to write something he was grateful for about his partner every day.
At the beginning of the exercise, it was easy, William told me. I focused on what was obvious. As the weeks went by, I had to look deeper to find other positive things about this person I love.
William took action – went to couple’s therapy – and looked for ways to change his perception (change from within) – decided to focus on the positive attributes of his partner. After a couple of months, William started to notice that his significant other behaved differently. They were bickering less; they were talking more.
They are still together and are a solid couple. I do not know if William ever shared his gratitude journal with his other half.
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer
These five principles guide me in all aspects of life. It does not matter what I do for a living, what goals I have for the year, the month, or the quarter, or who my friends are. The very few times I did not do my best or I waited for external circumstances to be different, things did not work out at all.
What are your guiding principles? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to help underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions by creating awareness, increasing emotional intelligence, and unveiling the tools and choices available to them.