How to Attract What You Want: The Power of Thoughts, Words, and Social Circle
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What occupies your thoughts, your reading list, and your conversations? What are you focused on right now? And what kind of language dominates your inner and outer dialogue – are you venting frustrations or actively seeking solutions?
Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, writes the law of attraction states that whatever you focus on, think about, read about, and talk about intensely, you’re going to attract more of into your life.
Take a moment to let that sink in.
It is truly empowering to recognize that we have the power to attract the things we want.
This concept is quite clear for those with an internal locus of control – i.e., the knowledge that they lead their own destiny. They understand that their actions, or lack thereof, determine the events unfolding in their lives.
People who have an external locus of control, on the other hand, have the perspective of things happening to them. Events are outside of their control. They do not think they can attract what they want in life.
Energy attracts like energy.
Tony Robbins writes whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.
“Every thought you have is a message you send to the Universe. The Universe is always saying YES to your thoughts, energy, and emotions. Therefore, what you put out you will receive back—whether you want it or not.” – Gabrielle Bernstein, American professional speaker and author
The recipe for attracting what we desire starts with shifting from an external locus of control to an internal one, and believing we can lead our destiny.
For example, we can resign ourselves to thoughts like “I will never have enough money to leave the rat race” or empower ourselves by affirming “I can be financially independent if I choose to.”
The next steps to attract what we want involve aligning our focus and efforts to our goals and dreams, and creating and implementing a plan to achieve them.
As we pursue our goals, it is crucial to recognize and regulate three primary sources of energy – our thoughts, words, and tribe – and align them to attract what we want more of in our lives.
We could have the best crafted plans and routines on how we will increase our income, for example. If we do not believe we deserve it, if we do not change our mindset from scarcity to abundance, these plans will remain mere concepts on paper or digital documents. We simply will not have enough internal motivation to take sustained action.
So, how do we transform our energy sources to effectively attract the life we desire?
1) Our thoughts
Becoming aware of how we perceive concepts like time, money, and our capabilities is crucial.
It is essential to recognize that we have the power to manifest what we envision. Let me emphasize: we can bring into reality what we imagine.
However, this principle goes both ways. If we imagine tragedy, scarcity and doom that is what we will create. If we see joy, abundance, and good fortune that is what we will attract.
Do you attract abundance (e.g., I have all the time I need for things that are important to me) or scarcity (e.g., I never have enough time in the day)?
Our thoughts play an essential role in shaping our perceptions of the future and, consequently, what we attract into our lives.
The first step to set our goals is to visualize what achieving them would entail. The more vivid the vision, the better. This is the beginning to attract what we want.
Allow yourself to visualize your goals and dreams every day as many times as you want, and to imagine how or what you will feel once you accomplish them.
Visualization can be done for any goal. Use all your senses: what colors and shapes do you see? Who is there? What do you hear? And what are people saying to you? What are you feeling on your skin: the sun, water, hugs?
Engaging all your senses will create a more vivid vision and much more explicit instructions to the Universe.
For instance, if your goal is to remove the excess weight that does not belong to you, envision yourself confidently wearing clothes that fit you perfectly. Imagine the satisfaction of sharing a dessert or enjoying smaller portions.
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein, Theoretical physicist, and developer of the theory of relativity
2) Our words
Our words are a tangible expression of our thoughts and the desires we wish to attract.
Words have energy. Notice what you feel when you hear or read words like worry, anxiety, danger. Now, observe the emotions evoked when you encounter words like joy, hope, possibility.
What we repeatedly tell ourselves reflects what is in our thoughts, and what we say feeds into our thoughts.
When we talk about ourselves or others in terms of limitations – ‘less than’ or ‘I don’t have X’ or ‘I can’t do Y’ – we are unconsciously making those statements true. This is how self-fulfilling prophecies come to be.
We can choose how we use our language. Are we focusing on what we lack (time, money, knowledge)? Or are we concentrating on what we can accomplish like upgrading our skills or re-shifting our priorities?
“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” Maya Angelou, American poet, author, and civil rights activist
3) Our tribe
The company we keep, both in real life and virtually, significantly shapes what we want to attract.
As social beings, our brains are wired to seek connection and belonging within a community as part of the intricate survival mechanisms.
Our brains have these amazing cells called mirror neurons, which allow us to connect emotionally with our friends and family, enabling us to empathize, imitate behaviors, and learn social norms within our tribes.
However, mirror neurons do not distinguish which feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are catabolic or anabolic, beneficial or detrimental, or which ones create abundance vs. scarcity.
Take inventory of the people you spend most of your time with and ask yourself the hard question: who depletes me of energy because they are always complaining, gossiping, or criticizing? Limit or disassociate yourself from those people.
If that person happens to be your boss, for example, it may be time to look for another job. If the toxic behavior is across the board in your company, you may want to seriously consider going to another organization.
In the case of a close family member, learn to draw appropriate boundaries to mitigate the impact of exposure.
Considering the profound influence of our social circles, it is vital to remain vigilant about the company we keep. As the saying goes, “birds of a feather flock together.”
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” Epictetus, Greek Stoic philosopher
One more thing before you go
Having an internal locus of control allows us to shape our own destinies.
Our thoughts influence our emotions, which in turn dictate our actions – or inaction.
We have the power to align our thoughts, words, and tribe to elevate our vibrational frequency attracting abundance, joy, and health as we align with our purpose and goals.
Visualize your goals in full color and 3D with smells, sensations, and feelings you would experience once you achieve them.
If this seems overwhelming, start with one aspect. For example, if your goal is a promotion, you could imagine how you would dress for your first day, or what you will wear for an important video call. Once you become comfortable with that element, add others until you are no longer scared of what you can accomplish.
Consistent small actions compound over time. Dedicate 3-5 minutes daily to consume inspiring, joyful, or creative content to shift your thoughts and emotions. Limit exposure to individuals whose frequencies do not align with yours, making room for those who inspire and uplift you.
We attract into our lives that which we focus on, whether positive or negative. So, let us feed the good wolf with high quality food and attract joy, abundance, health, and creativity.
What do you want to attract to your life? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.