How to Make Your Dreams Come True: Aligning Your Desires with Your Actions
A few months ago, I came across the book The Power of Letting Go by John Purkiss. While reading it, I experienced several moments of self-reflection, but one statement in particular shook me: “whatever you hold in your inner space is what you create outside.” This means that our thoughts and beliefs determine what we believe we deserve or what we think is possible to achieve.
After living on this planet for over forty years, I finally realized that true achievement stems from within ourselves.
Think about the things you say you want – a house, a promotion at work, your own business, etc. – but are not explicit in your goals and/or not reflected in your daily, weekly, or monthly activities.
When we do not align our desires and our actions, we unintentionally create a disconnect between what we say we want and what we actually do.
For example, if you want to lose weight and the only tennis shoes you own are the cute ones with bling bling that you wear for brunch on the weekends, there is something in your inner space (not yet solved) that you are creating outside (not exercising).
Usually what we carry in this inner space that holds us back are pain patterns, also known as incompletions – “incidents, memories, and wrong cognitions from the past that are occupying the present and are affecting our future.”
As long as we maintain these unresolved issues within ourselves, we will struggle to manifest our deepest desires.
“When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate.” Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist founder of analytical psychology
One of the things I often say I want but have no concrete goal or plan for is to live in an apartment with tons of natural light, sufficient space, in a quiet neighborhood that is not suburban, in a pet and pest-free building.
After reading the book, I thought “what pain pattern or incompletion is holding me back from creating this desire?”
In the book, the author suggests this reflection:
- Write down what you really want to happen in your life.
- Sit in silence and listen. Your mind will tell you why it can’t happen. Write these reasons down.
These reasons are the pain patterns or incompletions we must address to align our inner space to our desires and reality.
So, I opened the drawer and took out my dream of a nice apartment. My mind “told” me this cannot happen because
- I don’t want to commit to a high rent or mortgage payment.
- The apartment I want is high end and I am not (and don’t want to be) a snob.
- Pet and pest-free buildings are almost impossible to find where I live.
After listing these reasons, I began to dig deeper. If the higher mortgage or rent payment is within my budget, why do I hesitate? What messages am I receiving from my saboteurs that give me a negative perspective on expensive or high-end things? What is it about pets that makes me reluctant to have them in my life?
“We are put on this planet only once, and to limit ourselves to the familiar is a crime against our minds.” Roger Ebert, American film critic, journalist, and screenwriter
Going below the surface takes time and energy. For this reason, I answered those questions a bit at a time. Otherwise, I would have overwhelmed myself and put the dream back in the drawer.
I invite you to try this reflection. It is like being in your own personalized Choose Your Own Adventure book.
A word of caution: if you experienced or uncover major trauma while going deeper, seek professional help. You would not try to remove your own appendix, would you? It is the same with considerable mental and emotional pain.
Sometimes things can materialize rather quickly. At the time of this writing, four months after reading the book, I am living in an apartment with tons of natural light, decent space, in a quiet neighborhood that is not a suburb, in a pet and pest-free building.Not too shabby!
There are other items on my bucket list that I have yet to achieve, which have not been included in my goals. When I am ready, I will explore my inner space to heal other incompletions.
One more thing before you go
Pain patterns or incompletions hold us back from our aspirations. They can be unresolved emotional wounds from our childhood. These unresolved issues are like trying to suppress a floating object underwater. We can apply significant effort to avoid that object coming to the surface, but the minute that force relents, it emerges, and we have no option but to confront and address the unresolved issues.
Alternatively, we could choose to release the pressure and face these issues on our terms.
There are a number of incompletions we can manage ourselves in small chunks. If there is known or recently discovered trauma do not even attempt a DIY approach. It is important to seek professional assistance due to the potential complexities of trauma. Reach out to the professionals who will help you heal. You have the choice to keep your sessions private until you are ready to share.
Achievement comes from the inside out. Our thoughts influence our emotions, which in turn drive the actions we choose or fail to take.
So, the first step is changing our mindset from focusing on limitations to embracing abundance and opportunities. Moving from “I can’t” to “I can and I will.”
You are worthy of pursuing and achieving your dreams. The world needs the wonders and abundance your talent, skills, and knowledge can create.
What is something you desire that you have not yet manifested? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.