How to Define Your Personal Philosophy
Don’t have time to read the entire post now? Watch this video with the summary.
I recently did an exercise to articulate my personal philosophy, the set of guiding principles I live by.
When I saw the blank template, I panicked. My junta of saboteurs took over: ‘how could you be in your 40s and not have a personal philosophy? We must create one, stat!’
I took a deep breath – okay, several… -, regrouped, and let my mind think freely about what I believe and do not believe in. It turns out I do have a personal philosophy.
Doing this exercise resulted in a deeper understanding of my authentic self, what I bring to the table day in and day out across all aspects of my life.
It helped me realize that my personal philosophy comes across in my career, relationships, spiritual life, finances, etc.
Here are my key guiding principles that form my personal philosophy.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States
I believe in growth – Better/different is always possible
I have talked frequently about having a growth mindset, where we learn all the time and have the chance to start with a minimum viable product (service, project, or skill) and improve over time.
A tangible example I have is my blog. When I saw the very first post I wrote back in Feb 2020, I had two thoughts. First, ‘congratulations for starting somewhere.’ Second, ‘I am so glad you kept at it; the improvement over time is noticeable.’
The key is keeping the course consistently. This does not mean you do not pivot if you have to. It means that whichever the path, you continue on it, reiterating on each version, incorporating new knowledge and feedback.
“Learn as if you were not reaching your goal and as though you were scared of missing it.” Confucius
I believe in preparation – Being ready for when the opportunity presents itself
Many of us want to be promoted at work, change careers, earn more money, find that significant other and live happily ever after, be physically fit, and/or leave a strong legacy behind.
The challenge is that most people wait for the unwanted result or the actual accomplishment to prepare themselves for it. For example, we wait until we are several pounds over our normal weight to start eating healthy and exercising. Or we wait until we earn more money to learn how to manage it.
The key is to be ready for when the opportunity knocks on our door.
If you want to be promoted, start working on it now even if there is not yet an open position at the new level you want. This way, when the there is an open job, you will be a solid, qualified candidate.
One of my colleagues at work was really looking to be promoted. He made his intentions clearly known to his manager, and his manager’s manager. We talked about how he could position himself for that promotion. When he started this quest a couple of years ago, there were no open positions on the team at the higher level he wanted. He kept at it, though. Last year, there was a big project and with it came many changes including new roles at the level my colleague wanted. When those jobs were approved there was no question that my colleague would have one of them. He got his promotion earlier this year.
“Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.” Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability
I believe in both building and maintaining relationships
When it comes to relationships, especially at work, I think about them like bank accounts. To withdraw money one day, I must deposit money first.
I have noticed that a number of people focus on meeting other professionals once or twice and then expect complete collaboration or support from them.
I appreciate that sometimes it is not possible to dedicate the time and energy required to deepen a working relationship. At the same time, there are a few things we can do that do not take much time or effort.
I use the topic of weekend activities frequently. At the beginning of the week, I ask people about how they spent their weekend. Similarly, at the end of the week I ask about future plans.
I have noticed that when I share my weekend activities – beyond ‘it was a quiet weekend’ – people tend to reciprocate. The other advantage about that topic is that people are free to share as much or as little as they want.
By that small exchange into our lives outside of the office, we not only learn about our colleagues, but we also connect at a more human, less transactional level.
Another activity I do frequently is recognition or gratitude. At the end of a specific milestone, I would send a message to my colleagues’ managers letting them know both the status of the project and their team members contributions.
If someone does something extra for me – taking the time to bring me up to speed on a topic, prioritizing my request, connecting me with someone else, etc. – I send a note thanking them.
These small acts are deposits into the relationship accounts. When I need to make a withdrawal, there would be enough to do so.
“Our rewards in life will always be in exact proportion to the amount of consideration we show toward others.” Earl Nightingale, American author
I do not believe in fate – We create our own destiny
I have a strong internal locus of control – my decisions result in 99% of what happens in my life. There is a 1% of ‘luck’, ‘chance’, or what others did before me that allows me to be on a specific path – e.g., having the right to vote, being able to immigrate to the US, etc.
My accomplishments and regrets are clearly mapped to specific actions I took or did not take.
When my position was eliminated last year (event outside of my control), I was able to afford taking a break before immediately taking another job. A few years before I decided to organize my finances by creating an emergency fund and paying off bad debt (my decision, my actions).
“Take charge of your life! The tides do not command the ship. The sailor does.” Ogwo David Emenike, author
I do not believe in perfection – Perfection is boring and inhuman
I recently learned that striving for perfection is one manifestation of the imposter syndrome. Because we are afraid we will be ‘found out’, we become perfectionists to hide the fact that we ‘should not be where we are.’ Nothing is farther from the truth. We are exactly where we must be.
Being perfect goes against one of my core values of personal growth. The fact that there is a need to grow means that, thankfully, perfection has not been attained.
Contrary to what I used to believe, being imperfect allows me to connect more deeply with others. Some people will see themselves in my struggles and I will see myself in theirs. That automatically creates a bond. Our vulnerabilities and imperfections are the common experiences that connect us with others. It is like recognizing a fellow countryperson in a foreign land.
“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” Unknown
One more thing before you go
Articulating our personal philosophy – our guiding principles – gives us a framework of reference to help us decide how we use our time, how to approach work and personal goals, the legacy we want to create, and with what kind of people we want to surround ourselves.
Our personal philosophy is an additional set of instructions we provide our RAS to help us filter information and the things we attract. It is part of the criteria for our own personalized marketing and advertising. It helps increase our focus and how we spend our energy.
Our personal philosophy is fluid. There are things I believed in twenty years ago that I no longer consider part of myself. And vice versa.
As you articulate your guiding principles, be mindful to keep an expansive (vs. limiting) language and wording. We do not want to create unnecessary inner blocks. On the contrary. We want to focus on what is important to us and use our full potential and capabilities to achieve our bold, risky, and exciting goals.
What is your personal philosophy? Please, let us know in the comments.
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.