How to Unlock Your Potential and Get What You Really Want

Posted On December 5, 2020

I love setting goals and plans to achieve those goals. I truly believe that goals helps us take advantage of the time we have to obtain what we want.

I recently learned a process to do before setting my goals. Bruce Schneider, founder of iPEC, calls it the Desire/Belief/Acceptance (DBA) process. It allows us to become 100% energetically engaged, and as a result, create anything we want.

Here are the three steps

1) Desire

This is where we define what we really want. This includes both the tangible aspect of the goal and the feeling we think we will experience once we obtain the goal.

For example, your goal is to buy a house. Buying the house is the tangible portion of the goal.

How would you feel in your new home? Maybe you will have a sense of belonging, you may experience joy by seeing others in your family having more space to play. These would be the feelings behind obtaining the goal. In this example, your true desires would be to set roots and to see your family members have more space to themselves.

Another important aspect in the first step is to be completely honest with ourselves. Are we desiring something we think others expect we should want? Using the example of buying a house, is this something we really want or is it what is expected of working professionals, at a certain income level, age, and family situation?

For some people putting our wishes above expectations may feel selfish. This is completely normal and understandable.  Once others see how happy, engaged, and motivated we are they may come around. A famous quote illustrates this situation

“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” Unknown

In summary, the first step is defining what we want (not what others expect of us) and the feelings associated with those desires. Visualizing the outcome is extremely helpful to both defining the emotions and confirming it is our wish and not someone else’s expectations.

2) Belief

This step is where we tell ourselves that we are capable of having what we want and that we deserve it. In a prior blog post I wrote about the four inner blocks that prevent us from achieving our goals and how to overcome them.

Believing that we deserve and that we can achieve our goals is key. This is a constant self-convincing practice. As we increase our confidence in ourselves, we start attracting the necessary elements and people that will take us to the desired outcome.

If we decide to skip this step, our core energy will be telling the Universe ‘don’t bring it to me’, ‘it’ being the goal or desire.

The second step is to identify any inner blocks and use the tools to remove them, as well as, to constantly tell ourselves that we are capable and deserving of achieving our goals.

3) Accept

This step is where we ‘live’ our desire as if it has already happened. We use affirmations that inspire us.

Living ‘as if’ means creating a new reality and then expecting the result. For our goals, let us think they are not a matter of ‘if’. It is a matter of ‘when’ we will achieve them. They are inevitable.

A note on affirmations. When I first learned about this concept, I thought it was corny and I felt self-conscious doing them. Since I was practicing in the privacy of my bathroom and nobody could see me, I plowed through. I encourage you to practice talking to yourself in a way that is inspiring even if it feels weird. That sensation (of it being weird) will go away in time. Plus, you can always do it in private (nobody has to know).

When I wanted to be promoted at work, I started behaving as if I were already at the new level. I upgraded my work clothes, observed other leaders, and presented myself to my team, peers, and seniors from that new level of leadership. I took it upon myself to close the gaps in skills, ask for guidance,  and to consistently iterate until I had the desired results. Lo and behold, I got the promotion.

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” From The Light in the Heart by Roy T. Bennett

What is your preparation process before setting your goals? How do you practice DBA? Let us know in the comments. You can write in English, Spanish, Portuguese, or French.

My mission is to help women transform their inner voice from critic to champion, so they can confidently realize and fulfill their potential achieving what they want most for themselves, their families, communities, organizations, and teams.