Unlocking Your Inner Confidence: Strategies for Success
Have you ever observed the stark difference in the way certain individuals exude self-assurance, while others, who are equally capable, appear perpetually uncertain and indecisive, creating an unfavorable impression?
As a Leadership Coach, I have had the privilege of collaborating with incredibly impressive individuals throughout my career. I have consistently observed that individuals who possess inner confidence tend to be more successful in their personal and professional lives.
Now, you may wonder, what exactly constitutes inner confidence? And, more importantly, how can we nurture and foster it within ourselves?
Let us start with the definition
Simply put, inner confidence refers to the belief in oneself, the capacity to trust one’s own skills and judgment, and the ability to feel comfortable in one’s own skin.
You may be thinking (or even saying aloud), “It’s easy for you to say! I’ve been carrying baby weight since 2000.” “I become so nervous every time I even think about having to present that I have to lie down.” “I only know how to do what I’m currently doing.” “I chose to stay home and take care of the kids, and now I feel unqualified for any job!”
Feeling self-doubt occasionally is completely normal. However, the good news is that inner confidence can be developed with a little effort and practice.
How can we cultivate inner confidence?
There are five aspects to consider when building your inner confidence.
Start by identifying your strengths and areas of improvement. What are the things you do well and/or that come effortlessly? You may be a great cook, have excellent organizational skills, or be an exceptional host. Take it a step further by outlining your skills, personality traits, and preferences.
For example, one of my strengths is simplifying concepts by learning thoroughly, reorganizing information, and adapting it for a specific audience. I have developed skills in organizing content, clear writing, and utilizing breathing techniques for public speaking. Naturally curious, I enjoy learning new things, and I love sharing knowledge with other people. I firmly believe that learning has no value if it cannot be shared.
When addressing areas of improvement, I prioritize enhancing my existing strengths and striving to improve the knowledge and skills associated with them. It is much easier and satisfying to enhance strengths than trying to overcome weaknesses. However, it is important to be aware of your weaknesses so that they do not hinder your progress.
You will feel your confidence building up as you learn and gain proficiency on something specific. Do not underestimate your ability to learn.
“Cultivate a deep understanding of yourself – not only what your strengths and weaknesses are but also how you learn, how you work with others, what your values are, and where you can make the greatest contribution. Because only when you operate from strength can you achieve true excellence.” Peter Drucker, Austrian-American management consultant, educator, and author
Another essential aspect of developing inner confidence is practicing self-care. This includes getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of our physical well-being can have a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being.
You might be thinking, “I don’t have enough time!” or “I hate exercising!” or “I don’t enjoy eating healthy foods!” These are all messages from your saboteurs, which aim to keep you in your current state of comfort where, from your primal brain’s perspective, you feel safe.
There is enough time for the things that are important to us. So, if sleeping is important to you, you will prioritize it accordingly.
Exercise does not only mean going to the gym and lifting weights or taking a spinning class. It can be as simple as dancing, whether it is alone, with others, at home, or in a studio. Other forms of exercise can include gardening, walking the dog, or engaging in physical activities with kids. The key is finding something that makes your body move and brings you joy.
Similarly, adopting a healthy eating routine does not mean forcing yourself to consume foods you dislike. It is about finding a balance of moderation and discovering ways to incorporate fruits, vegetables, and protein into your daily intake, while reducing the consumption of refined sugars. Be curious and experiment – there are thousands of healthy recipes to try.
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” Eleanor Brownn, inspirational writer
The next step in cultivating inner confidence is to surround yourself with positive influences, such as friends, family, or mentors, who actively encourage and support you. A strong support system can significantly boost your confidence and serve as a reminder of your strengths when you are feeling doubtful.
The profound impact of other people’s influence cannot be overstated. We are the average of all the people who surround us, whether it is in person, through video interactions, or via phone conversations. Even virtual connections, such as people we follow on social media, authors we read, podcasters we listen to, and more, also contribute to shaping who we become.
“If you can surround yourself with people who will never let you settle for less than you can be, you have the greatest gift that anyone can hope for.” Tony Robbins, American author and coach
Another crucial aspect of developing inner confidence is embracing what we commonly perceive as failure. However, I use the term “failure” loosely as, I believe there is no such thing. Instead, “failure” represents unexpected results or outcomes.
When things do not go according to plan, it is natural to feel discouraged. However, unexpected outcomes are a part of life. Rather than letting them defeat us, we should view them as valuable opportunities for learning and personal growth. They are our best teachers. Remember that every situation can be converted into a gift and opportunity.
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa
Finally, it is important to practice self-affirmation. This involves deliberately reminding ourselves of positive aspects of our identity on a regular basis.
Engaging in positive self-talk is essential for cultivating inner confidence. As we are constantly in the company of ourselves, it is important to acknowledge that many of us engage in negative self-talk, unwittingly becoming emotional abusers to ourselves. We resort to using derogatory names, discouraging messages, and other hurtful statements, allowing our saboteurs and inner blocks to dominate our thinking.
When I am facing something challenging, I tell myself affirmations aloud in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes, they are reminders of previous achievements. Or words of care and reassurance, like a high five to the heart.
It may feel awkward at first, but repeating positive affirmations can be a powerful tool in building inner confidence.
“Learning to love yourself is like learning to walk – essential, life-changing, and the only way to stand tall.” Vironika Tugaleva, Ukrainian author
One more thing before you go
Even if you feel like the most fearful person in your family or among your friends, with consistent practice you can cultivate and increase your inner confidence. Start small. For example, if you have not moved your body for a while, take a ten-minute walk.
To start cultivating your inner confidence, pay attention to the things that come easy for you or the compliments people give you about your knowledge or skills.
Even the most confident people have self-doubt from time to time. They may question if they are thinking about a project correctly, if something was their fault, or struggle with “the” question: to pizza or not to pizza?
The difference lies in how we handle that doubt. We have the power to manage the messages from the saboteurs in our minds. We decide what kind of self-talk we practice. Initially, it may feel awkward or even difficult, but with practice, it becomes more natural and easier.
Inner confidence is an essential component of personal and professional success – knowing our purpose in life, growing to reach our maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.
The initial effort to develop inner confidence will pay off hefty dividends… While it may take some intention to establish, it will be time and energy well-invested.
What do you do to develop your inner confidence? Please, let us know in the comments.
Sources: The Importance of Self-Confidence; 7 Ways to Build Inner Confidence; The Science of Self-Affirmation
As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.