What I Learned (So Far) About My Emotions
Covid brought many changes at once to everybody. And with that change a huge amount of pain. And with that pain a lot of suffering.
I have been struggling with my emotions being all over the place. Many days I wished I could be one of those people who do not feel anything. I was tired of the roller coaster.
In a pre-Covid world, when the ups and downs of life happened (especially the downs), we had many distractions to keep us from looking the downs in the face. In a Covid world we do not have another option than to feel and experience the downs in life with no diversion.
This realization was very liberating for me. And I know that I am supposed to learn something from it. I am still in the process of uncovering those lessons. Here are the ones I discovered so far.
Feel the emotion and let it run its course. By not wanting to feel, I immediately created another emotion that piled on the original one. So now, I pose no resistance and let it ride.
Describe what I am feeling. I noticed that by verbalizing what is going with my body and my thoughts, the emotion weakens and I come back to a more neutral stage.
Ask about the trigger. What exactly happened that I now feel sad, angry, happy, etc.? Once the trigger is identified, especially for catabolic emotions, it starts to lose its power. Was it something someone said or did that pushed my buttons? The next time the trigger is activated, there is less power. We are more prepared to weather the emotions that we know may come.
Talk it out. This is where a therapist, coach, or a friend or family member with very high emotional intelligence is invaluable. I am realizing that this process is extremely helpful if done with the right person.
Stop asking if feeling one way or another is normal. What is ‘normal’ anyway? I get caught up in the ‘is this normal?’ loop many times. I am now noticing what is new or unusual in me regardless if what I am experiencing happens to other people. Each of us process emotions in a unique manner. We know different tools, we have distinct coping mechanisms, and we have particular and acceptable ways of expressing emotions. The key is to not intentionally hurt others or the environment. And, if we offend someone (unintentionally), we sincerely apologize.
Great leaders constantly become aware of their emotions, how to express them and what triggers activated each one. They understand that ‘pain is inevitable and suffering is optional’. Amazing leaders guide their teams to increase their awareness of themselves and others. This is how we grow, deepen relationships, increase innovation, and become more productive.
In the comments, share what you have discovered about your emotions; I would love to know more. You can write your comments in English, Spanish, Portuguese, or French.
My mission is to help women transform their inner voice from critic to champion, so they can confidently realize and fulfill their potential achieving what they want most for themselves, their families, communities, organizations, and teams.